I can see clearly now.. the pain is going

Symbols: Common household items that mean so much more now..

Yep, this is my new morning and nightly routine. I look at this pill box as my lifeline to staying alive and out of the cath lab. This girl went from one pill per day to now 6 bottles lining her counter top. Every Sunday night I fill my pill box for the week.  I fear the day when taking these pills becomes too routine and I might forget. Then what? Did I just increase my risk of having another heart attack? What if skipping that last dose of my anti-platelet causes my stents to clot?  Crazy how much your mind can wander and so much focus can be put on a tiny pill the size of tic tac. ( Oh, and they sure don't taste like candy). How many times have I watched the Bayer aspirin commercial on TV and never thought that I would be that person. It's funny now how I look at objects in my house so differently. And whatdeep meaning these items hold.

 Gus watching another episode of Dexter

Gus watching another episode of Dexter

This is Gus our lab/beagle mix he has been by my side through the rehab process. My mother -n- law said he would sit on my side of the bed and cry while I was in the hospital. Gus and I have always had a love/hate relationship. He would eat the garbage, pull all the dirty clothes (yep,including underwear) into the living room while we were at work and loves to howl at inappropriate times. But through this crazy time Gus has been a healer! The scary thing is  I think he is becoming addicted to Showtime and Dexter as you can see from the photo. Gus is a true symbol of love, compassion and healing. No matter where I am in the house Gus is at my side! I'll be the first to admit it some days can get lonely while I'm rehabbing and Gus is a constant companion.

How many times do we look out the window and see a dragon fly or a cardinal and it catches your eye and it makes you stop dead in your tracks and remember the loved ones who have passed. Well, for me these symbols represent the guardian angles that were ridding shot gun with me that night in the ambulance. I truly believe that a higher power decided it was not my time to go. And each morning when I wake up I THANK GOD for blessing me with another day.

Many times Joe and I would go Kayaking and be surrounded by dragonflies on the water. And then out of nowhere a dragonfly would sit on my Kayak and just rest. I would see my dad in that dragonfly and feel it was his way of letting me know he was with me. Joe and I always laugh when a Cardinal flies by while we're in the car. We instantly think of our dads an them saying HELLO MURPHY'S! A friend gave me the dragonfly while I was in the hospital and it brought tears to my eyes. She knew just how much this symbol meant to me and at that moment I needed HOPE!

But in the end the symbol that had helped me the most through this crazy ride is FAMILY! We have shared many laughs, tears and amazing experiences over these last few weeks. They are the reason that everyday I get up and I am so thankful for yet another day.

 "Family is like music, some high notes, some low notes, but always a beautiful song"

"Family is like music, some high notes, some low notes, but always a beautiful song"

This weeks goal is to continue Cardiac Rehab without pain and enjoy this beautiful spring weather!!